Freaking Out Just A Little

I tend to freak out A LOT. Like, scream, cry, don't get my way freak out. Or I just keep it to myself, casually mention it to my husband, and fret for hours, days, and weeks over something. This is currently what I'm doing. So - here is my freak-out story:

We're having a BABY! Woot Woot! I'm so excited about this. But in all honesty, the reality that we're actually having a baby in October has not set in. I'm dead serious. I did this with the last baby - My Max. I just went about my business, buying maternity clothes, some diapers and wipes here and there, maybe a few blankets, and didn't really PLAN on having this baby. So by my due date, I hadn't really given a ton of thought to freezing meals, saving money, stockpiling things if you will. I had my daughter when I still lived at home, so this being on my own with a baby thing was new. WHEW. What an eye opener.

So my freak out - yeah. Here goes. I'm scared in my boots about the fact that I will be off of work for 6 weeks with no paycheck to look forward to. Yep, because I left my stable, always had hours to work, 2 weeks vacation, 90 + hours of sick time, and short term disability where they pay 80% to come to this job that provides none of that security - I'm sort of freaking out. Had I known what was going to happen I probably wouldn't have ever left. I would have sucked it up, kept plugging along, and just dealt with the drama.

This is where I'm trusting God. I have to. That/HE is my only option. I have no others. I know that he put me in this place/position for a very important reason. I may not have a paycheck for six weeks, but he IS faithful and will provide.

Isn't this the way we do things...have a back up plan. I kind of do have one. It's not really a backup plan. I think it's actually strategy. Smart thinking if you will. I'm stockpiling. Hoarding. Whatever you want to call it. Couponing and buying extra every week, so that we don't run out of toilet paper, paper towels, and shampoo while I am off. The necessities are UBER expensive. I figure if I can atleast do that, then maybe it'll help a little. I compiled a list and will feel better when the whole thing is crossed off and stored in some random place in my trailer!

But in the mean time, I'm praying and trusting. My God shall provide all of my needs. Every.single.one will be met I just know it. He's got a plan and a purpose for all of this. I'm anxious to see in December how things work out, but for now, I'm going to trust...and TRY not to freak out.